The 10’s were filled with the most heartache and the most love I’ve ever felt in my life. They contained my best and my worst days ever. My bravest days and my most timid days. The ugliest hot mess days and the most blissful sweep me off my feet days. I went from hardly knowing who I am to knowing exactly who I am and what my purpose here on this earth is. 10 years is such a long time yet it also seemed to pass so quickly. And it is amazing how much can change in a decade. And to be honest, while I’m so thankful for all that happened in the 10’s, I’m so ready to leave them behind and warmly welcome the 20’s.
The 10’s could certainly be called my decade of love. I dated a lot. Now, caveat: I come from a family where everyone before had been married by 24. And very few dated as many as I have. I felt a lot like the black sheep of the family when it came to my dating experience. I had a handful of very short term serious relationships (that gave me all the anxiety), had a period of low key dating, and then eventually I met my handsome hubs. In 2010 I had broken up with a young man that was all sort of right on paper but not the right guy for me. And I wasn’t mature enough to articulate why we weren’t a good fit yet but everything in my soul, in my gut told me we weren’t right. I tried to fight it because all my young self wanted to be was married and start a family. I’m so glad I listened to my gut.
In reminiscing over the last years, there are five distinct lessons I learned that I hope will be helpful to you.
Before my hubby and I got together in 2015, there were several other guys I dated and though some people jokingly told me to ‘just pick one already’, I’m so glad I didn’t settle. That I waited and I continued to search and be open to new love with the right man for me. When I met him, I knew pretty soon after meeting that he was the man for me. And though we weren’t ready for each other until a year later, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for anyone other than my, Mr. Right. So dear friend, if you’re on the hunt for the right man, the right job, the right_______. I promise you, the right one will come along and you’ll be so glad you waited.
I learned I’m an enneagram type 9. Basically, what means is I’m the peacemaker personality and it’s really easy for me to take on the opinions of others to keep the peace. Really easy for me to go with the flow. And I did that wayyyyy too much in the last decade. I the first 3 to 4 years of the last decade be dictated by other’s opinions instead of listening to the opinions of my maker and trusting in who He made me to be.
This had me stuck in analysis paralysis and while this is not a shining part of my story, it’s a real part of my story and I share it in hopes someone else can be encouraged to be brave and take action. It was 2013 I decided to pursue what I really felt I was called to do and I’m so thankful for the dear friends that encouraged me during this part of my journey. Be brave and take action!
Believe in yourself
The other half of the coin to bravery is believing in yourself. You have to believe you can achieve your dreams. If you don’t know how to today. 2013 is when I started pursuing this career in wedding planning, and while I wasn’t quite sure how to do it, I believed I could do it and started this crazy journey towards owning Marcella Camille Events.
Following a similar path like mine takes guts. And it’s scary. And it’s so crazy rewarding. This business is my first baby and I love it so much. And I wouldn’t be where I’m at today if I didn’t have the courage or the faith to start.
Love others well
I think this is just at my core. I used to think it was a middle child thing; technically I’m the second oldest of six kids but my sisters and I grew up as a unit before our brothers came along. But I’m realizing more and more this is just part of me. Part of being the Enneagram Type 9 I was made to be.
Like I mentioned, Enneagram type 9’s are peacemakers. We are vey easily obliging to keep the peace. To help mediate and not make a big deal. I’ve done that a lot growing up. I grew up in a family of very opinionated folks and that made for an easy environment for this soul to not speak her opinion too much. And that environment made me feel easily overlooked. And taken for granted as well.
I’m still not sure when it clicked, but I knew I didn’t want to be that for other people. I knew I really wanted to make sure other people felt loved and care for. And you know what? I think that’s the best way to be in relationships with each other. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Be YOU oriented (or others oriented) but also do so with the proper boundaries in place. Dale Carnegies best seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People is essentially this in a nutshell and I’ve truly learned in this last decade that this is the best way to be in relationship. Love them well and make sure they know they are important. This is SO much the ethos of my business and the core of who I am. I don’t do it perfectly but I strive toward this every day.
There’s always tomorrow
My sweet husband reminds me on really really long or hard days that at the end of it, my head will be back on the pillow it started it on and I’ll be back in the same bed. In a similar vein, I’ve been able to come to grips with the fact that there’s always tomorrow. Not to take today for granted. But when the tasks of the day are too overwhelming, or when the heartache of another break up has been too overbearing, or the X amount of things just didn’t get done, you can get a good night’s sleep. Get a good night’s sleep and you have a fresh look on the tasks of yesterday. A clearer vision of what you were struggling with. Or a little less heartache, a little more balm to help heal the freshly imprinted wounds.
I know there’s so many more lessons that I learned the 10’s but these pretty much sum up the deep down heart lessons that I think of often. My hope is that they encourage you as you begin your journey into the roaring 20s of the 21st Century.
What are some lessons you learned in the past decade? I’ve love to hear.
Here’s to a new decade full of so much hope and so many untapped possibilities.
Sending you all the love,